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| She's supposed to be serving, not drinking! |
There's not much point in making satirical blather about international air travel, is there. You've all been there, done that! Now, your author was tempted to take up virtual business class travel, but then we would be missing all the great fun stuff of ECONOMY CLASS flying. And, I have to admit, it would not be in the spirit of following our actual world tour plans.
STOP PRESS: Fellow traveler, Ian, is insisting that he travels business class so there goes our good, economical intentions...up to Business we go. We will put the sudden and mysterious arrival in our bank account of $750 x 2 to good use in these (real world) hard times....that is looking after the tycoons who own airlines. Ian is demanding egg and lettuce and beetroot sandwiches in Business Class, what class!
Jan is coming with us a far as London before hopping off to Barcelona to admire La Sagrada Familia and other strange buildings. Hope she learns the Catalan national anthem (here) but Jan, don't sing it anywhere near a Civil Guard gendarme.
Our itinerary out of Singapore is not for the faint-hearted. A midnight departure for a 13 hour A380-800 airbus flight to Frankfurt, with 1 hour 15 minutes to make our connection for Heathrow on flight LH 900 for a 1 hour 40 minutes Airbus A320-212 trip during which, happily, we will be fed "a snack". For the mathematical minded, that's 16 hours from leaving beautiful
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| Minor delay at Heathrow, today folks. Chin up! |
All we have to do now is follow the queue to get out of this place.
One bit of good news: Avis, out of their eternal gratitude that WE chose THEM as our hire care providor have upgraded us. From humble Ford Focus to VW Passat. (Actually we were so blessed once on a 3 week hire from Charles de Gaulle.)
Another bit of good news, good folk, is that our journey to Plymouth takes us past Portsmouth Harbour, wherein is situated the magnificent National Museum of the Royal Navy.
To get in the mood, you really must learn a sea shanty or two HERE (Blow the Man Down)
“Right ho, you jolly jack tar, here’s your new Sea Chanty Song Book. I expect you to know the first 3 by first watch…understood”. “But sirrr, I cain’t read!” pleads the jolly tar. “Oh, never thought of that!” replied the senior midshipman, thinking fast. “Ah, I know, I’ll get you one in braille….how’s that?”
The Museum is truly impressive. Since we all look like to be over 65ers the concession day pass to all exhibits is a mere £27.50, per hot body, of course. Unfortunately, that does not buy access to the Mary Rose Exhibition, an absolute must see. Since we are here at Portsmouth, just cough up another £14.40 for the ordinary every day pass.
Today we are taking in three exhibitions. First is a visit to that old piece of Naval glory, HMS Victory, followed by HMS Warrior (because both ships are very interesting and we have pictures of us on them) and the Mary Rose (alas no pics of yours truly on board as it was closed the day we really did go to Portsmouth.)
HMS Victory: 104 gun first-rate "ship of the line", 40 years old at Trafalgar, a huge 3,500 tons with 850 crew able to achieve 11 knots on a very windy day (the ship that is, not the crew). In a serious engagement, ships of the line (naturally) would line up opposite their opposite number in the foe's line-up and each proceed to shoot the crap out of its opposite number. The biggest and heaviest gunned ship usually won. Nelson's splendid notion was to have each of his ships suddenly pull a sharp left and cross the enemy line behind each one's opposite number and then shoot the crap up its rear end from whence the opposite number could not reply, then each ship was to come around to lay against its rather dazed opposite number and give the opposite number a jolly good thrashing. Only a public school chap would think of something so terribly unsporting, but great fun, what!
When I say "suddenly" pull a left, I use the word loosely; the two fleets were working off their annoyance with each other in a very light 5 knot sea breeze, so it took quite some time for the engagement to actually get exciting.
HMS Warrior: 40-gun steam-powered armoured frigate with a full three-masted sail ship rig, built 1860 and Britain's first iron hulled armoured fighting vessel. 706 crew, weighing 9,136 tons (the boat that is) and able to achieve 14 knots. Much to the delight of their Lords of the Admiralty, this was one knot faster than the Frenchie's iron-clad La Gloire, topping out at a miserable 13 knots. While Warrior was the most powerful ship when built, she never saw any action worth mentioning becoming outclassed and obsolete within 15 years. However she did give sterling service at Fleet Reviews. Interesting to note that her top speed was only 3 knots faster that the Victory's but I think the Victory would only achieve that speed when running before a fearsome storm. Warrior is twice as long as your average clipper and just as beautifully elegant; my favourite ship at Portsmouth.
The Mary Rose: Henry VIII was rather proud of this purpose built fighting ship, built to defend the realm against those nasty foreigners across the channel, and, incidentally, being rather useful against the Scots. Built 1511, sank 1545, 600 tons, 80-odd guns, crew about 500 men (and I suppose, a few women). Named after Henry's sister Mary, coupled with the Tudor "Rose".
Henry was watching (from the shore) when the Mary Rose and his entire fleet sailed out to meet the French in the Solent, 80 English against the French 200 ships, fairly even odds. After a refit several years earlier to fit heavier guns, the formerly excellently handling Mary Rose was known to behave rather poorly in a breeze. She was not "weatherly" observed the admiral in charge and promptly assigned it to his vice admiral, Sir George Carew. The Mary Rose sailed out and fired her starboard broadside then came about to fire the port broadside. Going about, a gust of wind hit, she heeled over. Some idiot matelot had left the starboard gun ports open. Disastrous! Goodbye Sir George.
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| OPPS!!! |
See you all in Plymouth.
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